5 years ago today marked the day I married my best friend. And before you go getting all soft and "awwww" on me … just wait a second.
This 5th anniversary has caused me to reflect and remember something about God, a truth that I honestly sometimes forget: that God calls the things that are not as though they were (Rom 4:17), that His ways are higher than my ways and his thoughts higher than my thoughts (Isa 55:9), and that He does immeasurably more than I can ask or imagine (Eph 3:20).
As I was talking to a friend today and recounting my personal story of faith and my journey to walk with God, I remembered that at the point in my life when I became a Christian I had no desire for children, I abhorred them actually (why would you want children when all they do is break your heart, disobey you, and get in the way of you enjoying your life?). And the thought of marriage was only an outside chance in my head. Not that I didn’t think I could get married, but I doubted I would ever want to (who would want to get married if you have never seen any benefit in marriage?). Obviously now that I am married and have a two month old son I no longer feel this way, but it was amazing to me in the course of my conversation with my friend to remember how I used to think, and what my heart desired, and didn’t desire, at that time.
Tears started to well up in my eyes as I spoke to my friend telling him that at that time I hated the idea of having children, but then thinking of my son’s face and how his soft and innocent smile melts my heart in ways that can hardly be described. Our conversation was centered on how much God has done in and through my life that I could not have fathomed or envisioned before … it’s as though my mind is too feeble to envisage the beauties and realities that God had (and has) in store for me. I emphasized the point that God would do the same in his own life, if He would but let him.
It is in these moments that I am reminded that my God is a great and daring God, one that I cannot truly understand or comprehend, but one who’s love is so immense and who’s will is so good in degree and measure, that it humbles me to my very core and inspires me with genuine awe and wonder.