No, I don't believe in reincarnation.
However, part of me has always been drawn to the monastic. When I was younger, before I became a Christian, I seriously considered moving to Tibet to become a monk.
Last week over new years, I had the opportunity to take a four day silent retreat at a Franciscan prayer center near Greensboro, NC. I didn't speak and I didn't have any connection to the outside world via the internet for four days. I have never done anything like that before ... and it was truly amazing.
Interestingly, the silent retreat wasn't as difficult as I was expecting it to be. I didn't have any problems being silent (except for a couple of times I began to talk to myself out loud without realizing it), or being in the silent. The only sounds were a few small propellor planes that flew over head during the day, and there were often gun shots in the distance off-property. Perhaps it was a shooting range, or more likely I just live in the South ... but either way the sound continued to bring issues of violence and peace to the fore of my mind. Other than that, I had only the sounds of nature. The center was officially closed for the holiday and none of the staff were present (it is not a full-time abbey), so there were only a couple of people on the property the entire time I was there.
I tried to go into the silent retreat with little expectation and just remain open and neutral to whatever God wanted it to be. It was one of the most encouraging, inspiring, and clarifying spiritual times I have ever had in my life.
My motivation for wanting to do a retreat like this in the first place was to try to intentionally create space and time for God to be able to speak to me, and for me to travel deeper and more intimately into my walk with Christ, gaining perspective about Him, myself, and the world around me. I am so grateful to God, my family, and my church community who support me in doing this kind of thing, I consider it a blessing from the Father. I know this is a great privilege that not all have, but for everyone that is able, I highly encourage you to try your best to do something like this, even if it is only for one day.
During my time on the retreat I took several prayer walks on the grounds, including through their incredible prayer labyrinth. I also reflected over my year as I engaged in the Great Annual Examen, and I had time to read ... a lot. I contemplated as I was surrounded by the writings of ancient mystics, monks, and spiritualists who have lived through the centuries and sought to follow Jesus in their context. The likes of Thomas à Kempis of the 14th century, Thomas Merton of the 20th century, and John Woolman of the 18th century. I also read the modern Ben Witherington III's "Sola Scriptura", which I hope to write a more complete book review for in the future.
Having just finished my doctorate in peace studies and Christian nonviolence, I was intrigued to see this "peace gazebo" (pictured above) on the grounds that had a prayer column "May Peace Prevail On Earth" in the language of every country in the world that possessed nuclear weapons (as of 2023). Being that I live in the only country to have ever detonated nuclear weapons upon other human populations, I believe this prayer to be incredibly poignant.
In all of this, it was the Journal of John Woolman and the Plea for the Poor: the Spiritual Autobiography of the Great Colonial Quaker that particularly moved me as I read about his endeavors to end the practice of slave ownership amongst Quakers in the late 18th century (particularly in the South). He also wrote of the ethical implications of paying taxes to support wars, the political involvement of Quakers, and the ethics of colonialism amongst the Native Americans. I couldn't help to hear God's voice through John Woolman as I appropriated many of his writings into my current context, both personal and communal. I believe it is a beautiful thing to glimpse the faith of those that have gone before us as we realize two things; there is truly nothing new under the sun (Ecc 1:9), and God is faithful to the last. Hallelujah.
I am scheduled to lead two other groups to St. Francis in 2025 for spiritual formation retreats, one for our local microchurch pastors, and one for other church and ministry leaders from around the country. I look forward to making this silent retreat part of my personal annual rhythms every new year.
