For anyone who has ever gotten in front of a crowd to preach a sermon or simply lead a bible discussion, you know what it’s like to be concerned about what they think of you, how they will receive what you are delivering, and ultimately whether they will like you more, or less, after it’s all said and done. This is the great challenge of being a herald of God and many men and women have faced such things throughout the ages. Just scan the contents of the bible, you will see people left and right proclaiming a message that is often unpopular, perhaps even one that will jeopardize their own well being and cost them their life. And indeed, it at times did … and does. So this is a shout out to all those young and upcoming preachers today (though it applies to the ‘old heads’ as well), the heralds of God’s voice, as though God were reconciling men back to himself through you (c.f. 2 Cor 5:18-20 – though I would in fact argue that this would apply to all Christians, not just ‘preachers’ in the traditional religious sense). "Young people today don't get fired up about denominations and agencies. They get fired up about the greatness of a global God, and about the unstoppable purpose of a sovereign King." So what is your goal when preparing a sermon, bible lesson, or bible study to share with others? Is it truly God’s glory? Or is it your own? Is there a mixture of the two? I know for myself there usually is. “God himself is the necessary subject matter of our preaching, in his majesty and truth and holiness and righteousness and wisdom and faithfulness and sovereignty and grace. I don't mean we shouldn't preach about nitty-gritty, practical things like parenthood and divorce and AIDS and gluttony and television and sex (see here for more on some pitfalls of practical preaching). What I mean is that every one of those things should be swept up into the holy presence of God and laid bare to the roots of its Godwardness or godlessness. … It is not the job of the Christian preacher to give people moral or psychological pep talks about how to get along in the world…” And yet when we speak the oracles of God and represent Him as honestly, joyfully, reverently and soberly as we can, many times we will not fully realize the fruit that the seed will bear. “The fact that the true usefulness of our preaching will not be known to us until each fruit on all the branches on all the trees that have sprung up from all the seeds we’ve sown has fully ripened in the sunshine of eternity.” Many times, we are simply looking for some ‘Amens’ in the crowd, some laughter, smiles … anything we can to let us know that we are doing a good job. We sometimes hear many “job well done’s” afterwards, or ‘that was great bro’, ‘great sermon’, ‘man you hit a homerun’, ‘that was awesome!’ … but what about God? Are His glory, His majesty, His dominion, sovereignty, and reign being magnified in the minds and hearts of the hearers? Are many coming to faith because of your message (and faith in what exactly)? (c.f. Acts 14:1) Or are you simply getting an ‘at-a-boy’ at the end of it all? (c.f. 2 Tim 4:3) “I doubt that there is a more important passage on preaching in all the Bible than the first and second chapters of 1 Corinthians, where Paul shows that the great obstacle to the aims of preaching in Corinth was pride. The people are enamored with oratorical skill and intellectual prowess and philosophical airs. They line up behind their favorite teachers and boast in men; ‘I belong to Paul!’ ‘I belong to Apollos!’ ‘I belong to Cephas!’” Our goal should not be to come with eloquent words and smooth polished presentations, but in the power of the Spirit (1 Cor 1:17, 2:1). “Without this demonstration of Spirit and power in our preaching nothing of any abiding value will be achieved no matter how many people may admire our cogency or enjoy our illustrations or learn from our doctrine.” The preacher’s main purpose is not to simply win the affection of his listeners, but to bring them somehow closer to the presence and truth of God, being more in awe, more humbled, more loving, and more transformed into the likeness of Christ than which they came (c.f. 2 Cor 3:28). “The great design and intention of the office of a Christian preacher is to restore the throne and dominion of God in the souls of men.” (Cotton Mather, 1726) I think for many of us we simply aren’t used to this type of preaching. We aren’t used to having someone help us be transported into the presence of God in a way that transforms our hearts, our minds, and our lives. We are used to walking out of service having heard a sermon that gives us an acronym that we might remember for 48 hours and possibly two or three tangible things that we need to change about our behavior. We are used to laughing and being entertained, with the occasional ‘ooohhhh’ in unison as the preacher tries to make some convicting or serious point. “If you endeavor to bring a holy hush upon people in a worship service, you can be assured that someone will say that the atmosphere is unfriendly or cold. All that many people can imagine is that the absence of chatter would mean the presence of stiff, awkward unfriendliness. Sine they have little or no experience with the deep gladness of momentous gravity, they strive for gladness the only way they know how – by being light-hearted, chipper, and talkative. … Pastors have absorbed a narrow view of gladness and friendliness and now cultivate it across the land with pulpit demeanor and verbal casualness that make the ‘blood-earnestness’ (of some preachers of an older time) unthinkable. The result is a preaching atmosphere and a preaching style plagued by triviality, levity, carelessness, flippancy, and a general sprit that nothing of eternal and infinite proportions is being done or said on Sunday morning. … Gladness and gravity should be woven together in the life and preaching of a pastor in such a way as to sober the careless soul and sweeten the burdens of the saints. … Love for people does not take precious realities lightly (hence the call for gravity), and love for people does not load people with the burden of obedience without providing the strength of joy to help them carry it (hence the call for gladness).” “One reason why people sometimes doubt the abiding value of God-centered preaching is because they have never heard any. … Most people today have so little experience of deep, earnest, reverent, powerful encounters with God in preaching that the only associations that come to mind when the notion is mentioned are that the preacher is morose or boring or dismal or sullen or gloomy or surly or unfriendly.” So what is it that we are to deliver from the pulpit? I propose that ‘the keynote in the mouth of every prophet-preacher whether in Isaiah’s day or Jesus’ day or our day, is “Your God Reigns!” God is the King of the universe; he has absolute creator rights over this world and everyone in it. Rebellion and mutiny are on all sides, however, and his authority is scorned by millions. So the Lords sends preachers into the world to cry out that God reigns, that he will not suffer his glory to be scorned indefinitely, that he will vindicate his name in great and terrible wrath. But they are also sent to cry that for now a full and free amnesty is offered to all the rebel subjects who will turn from their rebellion, call on him for mercy, bow before his throne, and swear allegiance and fealty to him forever. The amnesty is signed in the blood of his Son.’ “The implication for preaching is plain: When God sends his emissaries to declare, ‘Your God reigns!’ his aim is not to constrain man’s submission by an act of raw authority; his aim is to ravish our affections with irresistible display of glory. … Therefore, if the goal of preaching is to glorify God, it must aim at glad submission to his kingdom, not raw submission.” *excerpts taken from John Piper: The Supremacy of God in Preaching #preaching

This morning I was reminiscing of all the people I have seen return to their vomit over the roughly 13 years I have been at this whole Christian thing. Some specific people, faces, and memories came to mind … the breaking of covenants with God, with spouses, with children, and with friends. Some of these breaks I could see coming miles away, others I could not. Either way, they are heart wrenching each and every time. I pray I don’t grow calloused. Peter wrote that it is better for one to not have known the ways of righteousness than to have known it and turned their backs on the sacred command passed to them (2 Pet 2:17-22). Now is it possible for someone to return to their vomit, and then once more return to repentance and following the Lord? Sure I would imagine it is, for God desires that all men come to a knowledge of the truth and thus be saved (1 Tim 2:4) and that His patience is designed to lead us to repentance (Rom 2:4), but I also know that the bible speaks of a point of no return to repentance (Heb 10:26-27, 6:4-5). Where is this point of no return exactly? We can only speculate, and we would be wise not to. For more on this topic see “Fall Away”. I thought of what a vividly disgusting image it is to return to vomit. I thought of the smell, the textures, the colors, the feeling of convulsing uncontrollably, dry heaving, and the mess that it is. I thought of the drunken spewing, brawling and unconsciousness. I thought of Wes dying that night in front of me after his neck being broken in a brawl. I thought of the many others that I saw die at young ages … all vomit. I thought of the countless times I drove behind the wheel of a car completely out of touch with reality hopped up on all kinds of hard drugs. Cocaine. Ecstasy. LSD. Pain pills. Marijuana. Opium. Alcohol. So many I can’t even remember all the names … many at the same time. It is almost a miracle that God has allowed so many of my neurons and synapses to reconnect and work as effectively as they do. And yet, many years of my young life are but a blurred memory caused by comatosely drug-induced states of mind. I thought of the countless nights I spent lonely, crying, and the immense amounts of pain and agony over the life of suffering I could find no way out of. I thought of the night I almost killed myself in the only logical attempt I could find to end the suffering. And then I thought about going back to it all. What stupidity. Sure, maybe now my vomit wouldn’t be so ‘horrific’. It would be more sophisticated. Dressed up with age, stature, money, and other dogs around sharing in high society vomit. I might not be passed out at the base of some apartment community’s staircase, now I would simply be having an affair on my spouse, disengaged from my children, drinking and doing drugs in a way that was ‘recreational’ and ‘functional’, allowing me to continue to earn a paycheck and keep an honorable job. Yet still lonely inside. Still suffering. Still eating vomit. Not that I am above this, or anything else for that matter. I have experienced vomit enough to know that I am capable of truly anything. Truly anything. No horror, abuse, atrocity, or inhumane act is beyond the power of my flesh. It is this sober estimate (Rom 12:3), faith and gratitude (Jn 6:67-69), and God himself (Phil 2:13) that I believe keeps me from returning. Nothing else. It also made me think not only of my own sadness, but of what God must feel as his love for these people, and me, is so far above my own that it is not able to be justly compared. We yell at a dog, “NO!” when it goes back to lap up it’s own vomit, the dog thinking that it is rich in nutrients and sustenance not realizing that it’s own body rejected it the first time around. And so we try to help the dog avoid vomiting once more, not because we want the dog to have no fun, enjoy itself, or be a cruel and harsh master … because we care for it. #spirituality

The 80's hit song breaks into your head; 'I want you to want me ... I need you to need me ... oh didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin .... ooohhhh.' So where does this come from? No, not the 80's song and the questions of why it became a hit, that is probably far beyond my reasoning ability. But why do we all have such a deep need to be desirable? Everywhere you go, it seems to be a constant. Everyone wants to be loved. Everyone wants to be wanted ... to be desired ... to be sought after. No matter where in the world you go, no matter what period of human history, no matter what language you speak or don't speak. Everyone wants to be loved. Anyone who says otherwise I imagine is simply lying. And yet, in spite of our numerous and elaborate plots, ploys, schemes and efforts (and I mean boy do we go to great lengths) ... often more times than not, we struggle to fulfill these desires. A wise man long ago once said that God had laid eternity on the hearts of men (Ecc 3:11), and another wise man, a long time after, said that God cares for us (1 Pet 5:7). What if God himself put our desire to be desired, in us? What if God put that desire in us because he cares for us (that is probably the greater mystery - Heb 2:6) and He is the one that wants to meet and fulfill that desire? What if God created that desire in us, as only He can, to be a desire that can only be fulfilled and satisfied by Him? A cosmic divine plot to woo humanity that would be (Deut 32:10-11). I know ... I know ... a God shaped whole in our hearts and all that jazz. Whatever. I hate the cliché as much as the next guy (maybe more actually) ... I'm simply tellin you like it is: to know that all the ways I try to find fulfillment, meaning, purpose, and even pleasure are ultimately short lived and temporary unless they are rooted in the eternal, in God Himself. To think where this notion of eternity even originated in my mind is a difficult question, it has been there for literally almost as long as I could remember. And despite my efforts I could not quiet it, in fact, over time it simply became stronger ... and I don't mean at 87 on my death bed while I'm staring the questions of the afterlife in the face, but young and in my prime. Why is this? I want to be desired. Oddly enough, God desires me. And in accord, God Himself is supremely desirable, whether I acknowledge so or not. But man is life so much better when I do. #relationships

Perhaps galvanized into pop culture with things like the 80's hit by Salt'n'Peppa, sex is one of those topics that is far from taboo in the culture we live in. Yet while it rages in vogue in the culture around us, in the church it can still be a topic of great un-comfortability, uneasiness, awkwardness, and many times shame. Godly sex is not a lay-up. To do it God's way, in the midst of our current cultural climate, is far from easy or 'natural'. The natural self would have us exploit sex as something solely selfish, far from the beauty of God's design not only of pro-creation, but for mutual enjoyment, trust, pleasure, and sharing. I have witnessed among married couples in the church, that sex is often one of those topics that is off limits to discuss with a trusted friend and confidante. It's almost as if because we are so saturated by sex in the culture around us, that we compensate by swinging to the other side of the pendulum, never discussing sexuality in any sort of meaningful and helpful way. This is also true with the youth. Teenagers and even younger pre-teens are bombarded by sexuality throughout their daily lives. We must be willing to engage this topic in ways that are not only educational, but in ways that are directional, pointing them in the direction of God's design and desire for human sexuality (Mat 19:5; Heb 13:4; Gal 5:19; Eph 5:3; Mat 5:27; etc.). Christian relationships must have this topic on the table with each other. On the table to discuss, to pray, to seek help and input. If not, then we are likely left to our own devices and the directional guidance of the devil and his hosts (Eph 2:2, 6:12). Whether it's married couples vulnerably opening themselves to another couple (many times this is man to man or woman to woman, but includes conversing as couples) to talk truthfully about all areas of their lives, including their purity, and romantic and sexual lives, or singles and youth talking about their struggles to remain sexually pure in wholly impure world, we must bravely be willing to engage with each other. For it is the love we have for one another that will indicate to the world that we are truly his (c.f. Jn 13:35). How can we say that we love each other when their are major areas of our lives that we simply don't talk about with each other? (c.f. Jn 3:19-21) We must be bold enough, brave enough, and filled with the love of Christ to love one another sincerely (Rom 9:12) pushing past whatever awkwardness and unrest there is in talking about sex (and any other topics). Only then can we experience not only our sexuality as God desires, but our entire lives can be freed to be lived to the full as Jesus has promised (Jn 10:10). #relationships #sex

The will of God is an interesting topic, one that you here people talk about all the time ... but how do we know what God's will actually is? You can have varied answers to that question: I just feel like it's God's will for me to ... I have received a sign that it is God's will for me to ... I have faith that it is God's will for me to ... etc., etc. Do you believe God has a specific will for which color shirt you wear today? Most people would quickly think, "of course He doesn't!" But do you think God has a will on whether or not you dress modestly? Most people would say yes. But how do you know the answer to these questions? I would like to propose that the only way that we know God's will for sure, is that He tells us through His word. For instance, we know that God has a will for how we dress in terms of modesty (c.f. 1 Tim 2:9), but we cannot be sure exactly what his will is in terms of something more specific (like which color shirt we wear) because we have not been told that through His word. Now, it is possible (and the word records it happening) that God could by some 'special revelation' (i.e. a vision, dream, etc.) reveal something to someone that is specific to them and not given generally through His word to all. But, and this is a very important but ... God would never contradict Himself (c.f. Num 23:19; 1 Sam 15:29) by what he reveals through special revelation to you specifically, and His word generally to all. For instance, staying with our previous example, God could not tell you (and others) generally via His word to dress modestly, and then give you some special revelation to dress immodestly. If you believe that you have received some special revelation, then you must check it against God's word to know if it is contradicting something He has already revealed. And this is, I believe, where most people go astray. They don't actually know God's word (or take the time to get to know His word) in order to check their 'revelation' against it. And thus, they are simply following their own desires, feelings, or even worse; the Evil one and his forces (c.f. 2 Cor 11:13-15). What about instances where God has not given us his revealed will through the word? For instance, how do I know what God's will is about me taking such and such a job in such and such a place? Or, how do I know it's God's will for me to marry person x, instead of person y? For such things there might not be a specific will revealed to us through the word, but there are general principles that are applicable (i.e. God wants us to marry only a believer (c.f. 1 Cor 7), and God wants us to glorify Him with all that we do and work as though working for the Lord and not man (c.f. Col 3:23)). It is up to us to apply God's principles when there is not a specific will given to us on a matter. And God has revealed specific wills for our lives, such as there not being a hint of sexual immorality among believers, or not looking lustfully at a woman, or loving others as ourselves. Where God has not given us a specifically revealed will such as those above, He has given us the great freedom, and great responsibility, to apply his principles and make our own choices, moving in a direction in faith (c.f. Rom 14:23; Gal 6:7). In conclusion, we must be careful when we say things like; "God put this on my heart" or "I know this is what God wants for my life", until we have really checked and examined what God has actually already said on these things in His word (this puts the responsibility on us to know God's word!). And if His word is not specific about something, that we are applying the appropriate principles from His word and that we are moving in faith. Faith, perhaps not that it is God's will per se, but faith in the fact that He has given us freedom to make the choice we are making and that He has promised that He will be with us along the journey. :-) For more on this topic, and an excellent resource see Gary Friesen's: Decision Making & The Will of God Also see Douglas Jacoby's article on the subject here. #theology #spirituality #philosophy

So how do you know when is the right time to pop that age old question: "Will you marry me"? A question that most every girl has day-dreamed about since she was young and come up with elaborate visions of grandeur that no doubt have been influenced by Disney's portrayal of the lovely beauty and devilishly handsome beau. Even most guys have day-dreamed about how it all might go down. I have heard it said that women day dream about how their wedding will be and men day dream about who they are going to marry. But none the less, how do you know when your ready? Ladies: how do you know when you should feel confident in saying 'yes'? Men: how do you know she is the right one to ask? And what role should finances and money play into such things? Should they at all? We all love the story of Count of Monte Cristo, with it's grand revenge and 'true love'. And why shouldn't a string around the finger living in abject poverty with nothing but our wits and our love be enough ... ? Well I'm sure it could be my dear friend, and for some it is, but to think that financial tension and the struggle to make ends meat will not tear at the core fabric of a relationship is wishful thinking. The love of money is the root of all kinds of evil the bible tells us (1 Tim 6:10), and no one can survive without it. Obviously no one should propose marriage, or accept that proposal, unless you are absolutely confident that this is the person you want to yoke yourself with for the rest of your lives, warts and all. And, at least here in our culture, we have an opportunity to get to know the persons warts before we ultimately yoke ourselves to them. Well at least most of them. For more on what types of things to look for, see here. Once you have decided that you want to yoke yourself to a person and feel great about their character; that they will be a great aid in keeping you close to following Christ and vice versa, and your tribe feels similarly, what to do next? Well, for starters I am fairly traditional and think that the man should propose marriage, not the woman. This is a popular thing in modern western culture, and while there is no biblical directive about it either way, I think it has something to do with the leadership of the male role, in which the bible has some things to say. I also think that two people should be able to support their own lives financially and independently. It would be helpful for them to have jobs, or some form of income, in order to pay rent, buy groceries, etc. And while this is also not a biblical directive, but only a cultural one - in fact in the culture of the bible it would have been very normal for the couple to stay in their families house when they were married, simply building another room. But in our culture that would be a bit odd for most. There are of course some exceptions to this, but we certainly live in a very individualistic society and culture that is centered around the nuclear family. I am not commenting here on whether that is good or bad, just that it is. I also think it is wise for people to be open with each other before they decide to yoke themselves together in the covenant of marriage, to talk about their financial status (typically during engagement). For example; how much debt do you have? what kind of character have you shown on your own with paying this back? (c.f. Rom 13:8) how open to input are you about your finances and spending habits (two people getting married will certainly have different spending patterns and prioritization's on how to spend money)? I think it would be unwise, irresponsible, and unloving to allow someone to marry you, only for them to find out on the honeymoon that you have $100k+ school debt that they have now inherited. I'm just sayin ... Money should not dictate love, nor should someone exclude marrying someone simply because they are rich or poor ... but you cannot live without money or seem to ever get enough if you love it (c.f. Ecc 5:10; 7:12; 10:19). Money is just one of the many factors that should be carefully considered and thoroughly talked through (character and spirituality is among the top of the list) when considering marriage. My advice is that marriage is hard enough as it is, why complicate it further by introducing surprises and hardships that you don't have to? #dating #relationships

"Of all the ways our culture spins us dizzy, it's up session with food is one of the most glaring. Honestly. We are a Mad Hatter culture, a nation of gluttons and weight-watchers. Go into any gas station food mart, and see for yourself. Magazines, rafts of them, depict men and women with bodies of impossible tautness and hardness and litheness. The women are svelte and buxom with incandescent skin. They gaze out at you, brazen as harlots or coy as schoolgirls. The men are stone faced, all of them, grim as though bent on some mortal quest, their bare stomachs an armor plate of muscle, their arms all sinew and veins. These pictures are arrayed next to shelves laden with chocolate bars, tubs of candies, shrink wrapped trays of mini-donuts, racks bulging with bags of chips and cheesies and nachos, walls of refrigerators stuff for with creamy and sugary drinks. And that's not all. Besides the magazines with our pantheon of beautiful people are other magazines, magazines that have on their covers photos of succulent, sweet-drenched desserts, casseroles dense with sauces and sausage and cheese, or mounds of pasta tossed in a rich cream sauce bejeweled with shrimp and scallops. "Details on page 70", the cover announces. Invariably, somewhere on the same cover, and an inset on the top right-hand corner, maybe, is a picture of a woman in a tight dress or skimpy bikini– and she does it justice – with the caption beneath: “how to lose 10 pounds and rid yourself of unsightly cellulite before the beach weather hits! Page 73.” Go up to pay for it and there at the counter, next to the till, are several paperbacks on various diet fads, and usually a few dessert cookbooks, next to baskets bristling with chocolate treats. We're a culture stuck between Barbie and the bulge. We dream thin and live fat. We spin this way, spin that way, back-and-forth, round and round." ~ Mark Buchanan (The Rest Of God) Reading this after visiting South Africa was quite eye-opening and a bit of a slap back into the reality that I live in. Interestingly while I was in South Africa, I ate whatever was put in front of me and I didn't have particular concerns about how much I ate. But somehow after 10 days I came back to the States having lost about 7 pounds. Some of this of course was due to the manual labor I engaged in, and some of this was due to the fact that much of the food I ate was fresh, organic, and not pumped full of hormones and preservatives. Some of it was also due to the fact that I ate smaller portions simply because that was what was put in front of me. Ironically, I don't remember ever feeling the sensation of starving or being excessively hungry. Mark Buchanan's point about us always feasting and therefore not being able to ever really feast, because in our culture we have an excess and are able to do so all the time, is well taken. "'Without a fast,' Dorothy Bass writes, 'it's hard to recognize a feast.' Overabundance is our common lot, muchness our birthright, and all Sabbath serves up is more of the same. And when we see anything as a birthright, it ceases to be a gift." So as we bounce back and forth, are tossed to and fro by our ever changing societal and cultural "norms", let us remember that we are not citizens of this world, nor this or nay nation, but rather citizens of heaven. (Phl 3:20) #beauty #culture

Sexual purity is big deal. It always has been and it always will be. I believe it was among the things of what was lost in the fall. Adam and Eve's first response when hiding from God because of their wrong doing and minds being open to evil had to do with their "nakedness" - their sexuality (c.f. Gen 3:7). Sexuality presumably up to that point had not been perverted in any way, it was completely pure. Yet after the fall, sexuality was marred. And so it remains to this day. Everyone will come to relationship with marred sexuality and a fallen sexual nature, and many people will come into marriage with marred sexual pasts and experiences. But praise be to God that he is a redeemer and calls the things that are not as though they were (c.f. Rom 4:17). Sexual Immorality: The Christian dating and/or romantic relationship MUST be pure (c.f. Gal 5:19-21; Eph 5:3; 1 Tim 5:2; etc.) for purity even transcends dating and characterizes all romance, even marriage (c.f. Heb 13:5). The questions always come up about how far is too far? I mean I know that I shouldn't have sexual intercourse, and God wants me to technically be a virgin when I get married, but what about other forms of affection? What about kissing, etc.? I will put my position straight out: I believe that any sexual physical activity (defined as any contact that creates sexual stimulation) outside of marriage between a man and a woman is sin. "Technical virginity" and biblical purity are not the same things. To define sexual immorality think of it's inverse, sexual morality. Sex that is moral is that which God has made moral, sex between a man and a woman in covenant relationship together; marriage. So sexual immorality is what is not sexually moral; all sexual activity and thoughts outside of marriage. Kissing: A common barometer that I tell others to use (who are often curious people who have not explored their sexuality much and tend to lack any conviction about the power of sexual temptation and it's snowballing properties) is by asking them if they have ever kissed their father or mother. If they have ever kissed their father or mother in any sexually impure way. And if they always kiss their boyfriend or girlfriend exactly as they do their mother or father. For anyone being honest, the answer is obviously no. But I ask them to probe further, why don't you kiss them the same way as a family member? Because again, if we are honest, the relationship is not the same. It is romantic, so our kissing is romantic. Now can I come out and say that all kissing cart blanche is a sin between a couple. Well no, of course not. But what I am confident in saying, is that I think it's a stupid idea for a Christian couple, a pandora's box of sorts. But let's continue to probe, why do we have such a difficult time with this idea anyway? Why is it so difficult to deny ourselves here? Why do we clamor and claw to keep our right to kiss? Because we are selfish. Because we like it. Because it makes us feel good. Because it helps us to feel connected to another person. Which is a beautiful thing that God has made, and that He has made exquisitely good. But he has made it for a man and a wife (c.f. Gen 2:24; Mat 19:5; Eph 5:31) and not to happen with "prostitutes" (anyone not your spouse) (c.f. 1 Cor 6:16). ​Unfortunately I have had extensive experience with all of this. Becoming a Christian after my life had been marred by sexual sin and then experience the pain of sexual sin as a Christian with another Christian (largely due to that devilish question "how far can we go and still be ok?"), it took me many years before God helped me to build the conviction that I would not even kiss my wife to be until we stood at the alter. My now wife and I did just that. I was in my early 30's and she was in her late 20's. It was her first kiss. Ever. This looks like foolishness to the world (c.f. 1 Cor 1:18). And indeed we both had some that looked on in utter disbelief. Some who thought that a man my age who was not married and did not have a girlfriend must not be attracted to women. But God chooses the foolish things of this world to shame the wise (c.f. 1 Cor 1:27-31). Talking About Boundaries: (also see DTR) So how should you talk about where you are going to put your physical boundaries? I think it should be as soon as two people become and item or an exclusive couple (before then there shouldn't be much to talk about). My wife and I had this boundary talk the day I asked her to be my girlfriend. If this type of conversation cannot happen in a mature and healthy way, then I would argue there are some bigger problems at hand, like whether or not the people are really ready to take on the responsibilities of dating. But this type of conversation brings in other considerations as well. Not just physical boundaries (though very necessary), but also emotional boundaries such as how much will we see each other, talk on the phone, text, etc. What type of situations will we allow ourselves to be in and which ones will we not? For instance my wife and I decided that we would not talk on the phone after 11pm, we would not be in a domicile together alone, and we would tend to not take long car rides or road trips together alone, etc. Emotional Immorality: Just as we can engage in sexual immorality, I believe we can also engage in emotional immorality. Emotional immorality is perhaps a bit more difficult to define and spot, but we must fight for awareness. For in the Christian dating relationship where the emotional connection continues to grow without the physical intimacy growing equally, pressure can ensue and the "emotional pacing" of the relationship becomes a factor. In view of simple discipleship principles like denying yourself (Luke 9:23) and not being mastered by your flesh but led by the Spirit (1 Cor 6:12; Gal 5:16-18), you must think about restraining yourself in the amount of emotional connection that you allow to develop throughout courtship. Don't start off texting several times a day, don't start off always hanging out together, in essence don't act like you are married until you are married! The 'pacing' of a relationship is vital for it's health throughout the course of courtship, for if you allow the relationship to become to emotionally intimate too quickly you run a great risk of experiencing great frustration and tension because you have reached this glass ceiling that you cannot move passed. It is always easier to hit the gas pedal in a relationship than it is the brakes. If you find yourself having moved to far to quickly in the relationship and you need to hit the brakes and slow down the pace, it usually proves quite difficult because you already have a trajectory and expectation of what the relationship is like, so I advise to start of slow and make sure you have the big picture in view. This is especially important if you are younger and know that marriage is not likely a reality for several years (i.e.. you are a student in school or something). This is something in which your tribe becomes vital and is invaluable. Other helpful blog posts on the topic: Principles For Drawing Boundaries | Kept My Virginity, But Not My Purity #dating #relationships

Have you ever had sulfuric acid poured on you? It feels kind of like ... well I wouldn't know exactly, because if I ever had sulfuric acid poured on me I think I would be incredibly disfigured, or dead. But let's pretend for a moment that it is painful. Psalm 141:5 says that a righteous man's correction (reprove, rebuke) is like oil on his head and that he would not refuse it. Now you and I might not be in the custom of pouring oil on our heads, but let's pretend for a moment that it is soothing (in ancient times oil would have been used as a commodity of exchange, cosmetic, medicine, food, illuminant, and in religious rights). Oil was a good thing. David says correction is a good thing (i.e. Nathan's rebuke in 2 Sam 12:1-10, and David's ensuing Psalm 51). So if correction is a good thing, supposedly soothing and healing, why does it feel so much like sulfuric acid, burning my hair and scarring my retina on it's way down (c.f. Heb 12:11)? Well, part of it is I don't value the harvest it produces if I allow myself to be trained by it. A person who truly values being more like Jesus and following Him more closely, someone who wants to be changed more into His image and love God increasingly through their obedience will appreciate, value, and love correction (c.f. Prov 12:1). A stupid person will run from this pain, not realizing the immense growth that God is trying to bring about and so miss out. God is chiefest goal and biggest concern is with our being a butterfly ... not the pain that it takes the caterpillar to get there. Think about it; when a team of doctors and physical therapists are trying to rehab a professional running back's knee after ACL/MCL surgery, they know that he is willing to endure, and even lean into and embrace the pain of rehab (because it is quite painful) simply because he values the end product; being able to run, cut, pivot, and jump better than others once more. And after they have subjected him to much pain and trauma, he says, "thank you". This is the imagery that David uses in Ps 141:5. True, it is painful in when someone corrects or rebukes you, but do you say thank you at the end? Do you value what that correction is building and creating in you enough to not only thank God for reproving you, but enough to thank the (many times) human vessel He chooses to use in order to bring it about? A good barometer of how much you actually love correction is how easy you make it for others to give it to you. If you take an honest look around and no one is really ever correcting you ... on anything ... there's a good chance that you are sending signals that you appreciate correction and reproof about as much as sulfuric acid being poured on your head (that or relational isolation needs to be looked at). So how about it friend? Let's you and I learn to love and appreciate when God brings correction our way (through whatever means) and so treats us as His children (Heb 12:5-6). Let's learn to be thankful (outwardly and inwardly) to those courageous and loving souls who allow themselves to be God's instruments in our lives for our own good. Let's embrace the struggle and difficulty of fighting for humility and lean into the pain of our pride being scathed ... for just like the caterpillar, our struggle shall have a glorious end (c.f. Rev 21:1-4).

So what exactly is the difference between an evangelist, a deacon, and an elder biblically? Why would God make these different roles in the church (c.f. Eph 4:12)? How do we tend to blend them all into one office? Here is a study of the different Greek words for each office we find in the N.T. Ephesians 4:11 - Apostle: ἀπόστολος - apostolos •a delegate, messenger, one sent forth with orders specifically applied to the twelve apostles of Christ in a broader sense applied to other eminent Christian teachers of Barnabas of Timothy and Silvanus Prophets: προφήτης - prophētēs •in Greek writings, an interpreter of oracles or of other hidden things •one who, moved by the Spirit of God and hence his organ or spokesman, solemnly declares to men what he has received by inspiration, especially concerning future events, and in particular such as relate to the cause and kingdom of God and to human salvation the OT prophets, having foretold the kingdom, deeds and death, of Jesus the Messiah. of John the Baptist, the herald of Jesus the Messiah of the illustrious prophet, the Jews expected before the advent of the Messiah the Messiah of men filled with the Spirit of God, who by God's authority and command in words of weight pleads the cause of God and urges salvation of men of prophets that appeared in the apostolic age among Christians they are associated with the apostles they discerned and did what is best for the Christian cause, foretelling certain future events. (Acts 11:27) in the religious assemblies of the Christians, they were moved by the Holy Spirit to speak, having power to instruct, comfort, encourage, rebuke, convict, and stimulate, their hearers •a poet (because poets were believed to sing under divine inspiration) of Epimenides (Tit. 1:12) Evangelist: εὐαγγελιστής - euaggelistēs 1. a bringer of good tidings, an evangelist 2. the name given to the NT heralds of salvation through Christ who are not apostles Teacher: διδάσκαλος - didaskalos •a teacher •in the NT one who teaches concerning the things of God, and the duties of man one who is fitted to teach, or thinks himself so the teachers of the Jewish religion of those who by their great power as teachers draw crowds around them i.e. John the Baptist, Jesus by preeminence used of Jesus by himself, as one who showed men the way of salvation of the apostles, and of Paul of those who in the religious assemblies of the Christians, undertook the work of teaching, with the special assistance of the Holy Spirit of false teachers among Christians Deacon: διάκονος - diakonos 1. one who executes the commands of another, esp. of a master, a servant, attendant, minister a. the servant of a king b. a deacon, one who, by virtue of the office assigned to him by the church, cares for the poor and has charge of and distributes the money collected for their use c. a waiter, one who serves food and drink Elder: πρεσβύτερος - presbyteros •elder, of age, the elder of two people advanced in life, an elder, a senior forefathers •a term of rank or office among the Jews members of the great council or Sanhedrin (because in early times the rulers of the people, judges, etc., were selected from elderly men) of those who in separate cities managed public affairs and administered justice among the Christians, those who presided over the assemblies (or churches) The NT uses the term bishop, elders, and presbyters interchangeably the twenty four members of the heavenly Sanhedrin or court seated on thrones around the throne of God Overseer: ἐπισκοπή - episkopē investigation, inspection, visitation that act by which God looks into and searches out the ways, deeds character, of men, in order to adjudge them their lot accordingly, whether joyous or sad oversight overseership, office, charge, the office of an elder the overseer or presiding officers of a Christian church Shepherd/Pastor: ποιμήν - poimēn a herdsman, esp. a shepherd in the parable, he to whose care and control others have committed themselves, and whose precepts they follow metaph.the presiding officer, manager, director, of any assembly: so of Christ the Head of the church of the overseers of the Christian assemblies of kings and princes Minister: διακονία - diakonia service, ministering, esp. of those who execute the commands of others of those who by the command of God proclaim and promote religion among men of the office of Moses of the office of the apostles and its administration of the office of prophets, evangelists, elders etc. the ministration of those who render to others the offices of Christian affection esp. those who help meet need by either collecting or distributing of charities the office of the deacon in the church the service of those who prepare and present food So where does this leave you? Are you serving in one or more of these capacities? Do you aspire to one day? How will you allow God to lead you and use His gifts in you to build up His body, to His glory? #biblestudy